Having stayed in one or two hotels over the last month or so, I have been sufficiently traumatised by the breakfast experience to write a survival guide for others.
Going to a hotel (indeed choosing one in the first place) is intertwined with the prospect of a lovely breakfast. If it’s a foreign hotel (not in the UK) then it’s not so much about expectation, as it is wondering what they serve locally.
In British hotels you pretty much know what will be on offer, plus in some regions there might be a regional speciality; something like kippers in the North East. What you expect from breakfast in UK is something like a ‘full English’ (full Irish in Ireland), as well as some cereals, fruit juice, breads and tea or coffee. In larger hotels you might expect the ‘Continental’ option of cold cuts and cheeses; for the visitors who can’t quite face a full-English.
The two hotels I stayed in were in Derbyshire and Bedfordshire; one for a walk and one for a birthday party. I chose them both, checkeding what the breakfast options were and making sure breakfast was included. Disappointment is an understatement.
In the one in Derbyshire, a traditional pub with rooms, everything was swimming in oil and the local sausage probably came from Morrisons budget range. The toast was ok and the coffee ok too.
The second one was in Bedfordshire. This place boasted a large dining room, extensive menus and, although an older style hotel, a suggestion of some style. For this reason it was probably more disappointing; nay, unforgiveable!
The scambled egg had been made with something like spreadable butter or margarine. It tasted foul and really was inedible. The sausages came from the same place, I think. The bacon was ok, but dry (probably cooked in a batch and kept in the oven) and the tomato was tasteless, oily and uncooked; not good. The toast was really poor and dry, which was perhaps the most surprsing element. What does it take to make a decent bit of toast?
Afterwards I reflected on a missed opportunity at both places, but also thought about how one could ‘safely’ enjoy breakfast in these sort of places. Or at least not regret having ordered the wrong thing.
Breakfast Survival Guide
What is safe and sensible to order for breakfast in a British hotel, pub or BnB?
Eggs – Boiled is safest, although timing could be off. Poached second best, although many breakfast chefs probably prefer not to have to do these. A fried egg can be cooked by anyone and, although oily, it’s acceptable, so third. Don’t order scrambled eggs unless you’re sure it’s good – you’ve seen it and it looks good.
Bacon – Pretty safe anywhere. If you’re lucky and the management sensible, they’ll offer good quality local bacon. If not, then it’s hard to cook bacon badly, although as mentioned, it can be made dry.
Sausages – ditto the above. One good sausage is better than two rubbish ones chef! Please buy good local sausages, as it can be the centre piece of a memorable breakfast.
Black-pudding – I don’t eat it. If you’ve never tried it, then by all means have a go. My experiences of it are that its usually poor quality and has an over-powering taste from the herbs and spices disguising what it contains.
Tomato – I often feel it’s more there for decoration, rather than to be eaten, which is a shame as I like tomatoes for breakfast. As I have written before, I like tinned tomatoes instead of an unripe, hydro-culture produced version. So don’t expect much here.
Mushrooms – usually ok, if a bit oily. Brits don’t really understand or appreciate mushrooms like the French, Italians and Swiss, so mushrooms will be supermarket bought, cooked in the same pan as the bacon probably.
Hash Brown – If you’ve had a big night before it may be essential, but otherwise why eat something soaked in fat from having been fried at too low a temperarture? Avoid if there is good toast instead.
Baked beans – yes. Can’t go too far wrong. You might get them in a little pot on the side if you’re lucky. They are needed to lubricate the whole affair.
Avocado – unlikely to be offered this with a full-English, which is a shame, as it goes well with bacon and good toast.
Toast – If you get asked white or brown? Then you know it’s supermarket sliced bread. This can be fine if not over-toasted. If you get offered sourdough or wholemeal, fil your boots – I am a self-confessed bread snob! Either way, make sure you butter, not margarine, plus some marmalade, jam, honey or marmite.
What’s the safest breakfast combo?
Probably fried egg, bacon, beans, and one sausage, with a bit of avocado on the side if you can negotiate it. Everything else is a risk.
Or choose boiled eggs and toast. If they have kippers then you have to try them.
Enjoy